"It's Deb. And I'm calling to let you know I think you're a shallow friend."

What:

Another baby shower for the books.  My family is essentially fulfilling the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth for the entire human race.  Literally I have cousins getting married or having a baby every month.  I just went to a baby show for one of my cousins and we're supposed to have 5 more before January.  I made a discovery about myself at this one though.  This is totally self-diagnosing and probably exaggerated but I think I have a tiny bit of social anxiety.  I always dread going to these things and then I worry about saying something offensive or forgetting someone's name.  Or just saying something downright stupid.  And I am absolutely dreading the day when I have to have my own shower.

So What:

I don't normally like doing any kind of self diagnostic things because I think people go way over board with it.  But this one keeps popping up in my life because I've been put in a lot of socially settings lately and I'm becoming more aware of it.  I think at one point in my life I knew how to talk to people at parties or pick up conversations with people I hadn't seen in a while.  But I seem to be getting worse at it, which is an issue because I am going to be going to a lot of these social settings, especially at what stage of life I'm at.

Now What:

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I need to do something about it.  I don't believe that anxieties are an untreatable thing.  I think back to my time on my mission when I had no social worries bothering me what so ever.  and I think the way to fight it back is to practice.  So I hope that I can learn to put myself out there and care less about what others think about me and worry more about just talking to people and enjoying myself.

Taupe, Beige, Tan

What:

This might be a little more superficial of a learning lesson but it does have to do with communication.  Everyone has extrememly different understanding of what colors are which.  I've discovered recently that I have a different understanding than a lot of people.  I've being trying to pick some dresses out for bridesmaid and I kept telling my mom I wanted tan dresses.  She kept picking all of these weird Pink or orange colors so I though I could just google it and send a picture to her.  This is what I found when I typed in "Tan":

Those are all such different colors! the only one that I would even consider tan is the second row far right.

So What:

Well I've also been doing some graphic design lately and I was thinking "If i was having this much trouble with just my mom, I can't imagine trying to do something with a business or someone who has something very specific in mind."  Thats why they have color codes to get exact hues and saturations.  You have to be so specific to get the exact color you want, you might as well just bring a picture.  

Now What:  

Well I guess I'll be using pictures alot more.  I think its really important to be really specific and to have examples if you're going to be picky about colors.  That probably goes for a lot of other things too.

"In a world that keeps on pushing me around..."

What:

On my mission, the church released a booklet  to help missionaries keep there overall health in line, specifically because there seemed to be a lot more mental and emotional health issues.  In the booklet was various little tasks to help deal with stress and anxiety that comes with missionary work.  While that book was somewhat applicable to deal with on the mission,  I feel it could be a more useful tool in my life now.  I don't think I've ever been juggling as many balls as I am at the current moment. And quite frankly, I'm not doing very good at it.  Particularly this week has been one of those weeks that things seem to climax and I can barely keep my feet on me.  I think I've always felt like being stressed out was some sort of weakness that wasn't worth voicing or dealing with.  But sweeping it under the rug is not helping me this time so I've had to turn to other resources.  I think speaking with people is a really important step because its always easier to deal with things together than on your own.  The stress tool that has helped me this time is actually making a list of everything that is stressing me out, labeling who is responsible for those things, and what my concern is about that thing.  And its helping me quite a lot actually.

So What:

Why would this be important?  Well, life is most likely to just get busier from here on out so its really important to learn how you deal with stress and what solutions you have for it.  I never have tried this list thing before but its helped me clear my mind.  I now can see some of the things I'm stressing about are not in my control.  I also can see that I want control over more things than I have the capability to handle.  And I can see what things I just being ridiculous about and need to let go of.  I'm sure this will help alleviate a lot of the pressure i've been feeling.

Now What:

Well I guess I'm going to press on and keep making these lists whenever I feel the need.  And I'm going to learn how to let go of things and only worry about what is in my control.  I'm learning to recognize that stress is not a weakness, but something we all experience and its ok if we break down sometimes.  But use what tools you have to get you back on track, including people around you or sorting your thoughts out on paper.

I'd love to hear any ideas anyone has on how they deal with stress.

The Single Mom Life

What:

I am not married, nor do I have children.  But I do have a lot of cousins that are younger than me who've always felt more like nieces and nephews to me.  So naturally when their mom goes out of town she asks me if I can take care of them.  There are only three of them but if eel like it still is crazy how much there is to do.  Soccer games, practice, even just meal times all seem to add up.  I had another chance to watch them this weekend and I couldn't believe how crazy busy it was.  I was running to and from, forgetting one kid in one place, trying to get the other to the next thing.  Quite honestly, I couldn't do it myself, but with the help of some of my friends and family we made ends meet.  So I guess what I learned is that moms, and specifically single moms, must have a diving gift bestowed upon them with motherhood.

So What:

I think that this is important for me to learn because it honestly sometimes makes me scared for motherhood.  I can barely juggle my own balls, much less the rest of my family's stuff.  But somehow God helps them out.  Whether it be through photographic memory of where cleats are, or by sending angels to help you get someone to their game on time, he helps them out.

Now What:

I guess I need to calm my fear of not being adequate enough for motherhood, whenever that point of my life comes.  And I need to be more aware of the single mom's out there working hard and performing miracles everyday.

There is a purpose to Pinterest Boards...

What:

I've never really been the type of person to keep a Pinterest board of anything, much less, my future wedding.  Because of recent events, I am now three weeks into planning my wedding and I am wishing fervently that I had started many years ago.  I'm finding that my difficulty making decisions is being pushed to the test because not only am I having to make those decisions under a time restraint but also there are big financial investments involved and the potential of life long humiliation by children or future Young Women.

So What:

I used to nickname Pinterest a "coveting board" because that seemed to be its only purpose.  But then I discovered its humor section and I started participating, in a very limited sense.  But what I've realized is that, when used in a proper way, it can become an amazing tool for planning, sharing, and motivating for future ideas.  Really its kind of a brilliant thing, that I have not utilized in the slightest.  It would have definitely made this whole wedding planning process easier.

Now What:

Well I've been using it for my wedding for the last couple of weeks and its been super helpful.  But as far as planning in advanced, I'm a little to late for that.  But I've decided I'm going to start using it for things coming in my future, such as decorating my house, or learning to cook.