"All I want to be is whoever you want me to be this halloween"

There is a virus going around my family.  Its a scaring epidemic and it all began with my uncle.  You see, his birthday is on Halloween and every year he throws a big halloween party and scares his guests somehow.  This year they weren't able to have the party but he put a post on Facebook that for his birthday this year he wanted people to post videos of them scaring other people.  

Little did he know what he was starting

Here is my first attempt to scare my fiancé:

I hardly got a reaction.  And this was his comeback last night:

Ya, he got me pretty good. 

What:

How does this relate to anything? Well I had a bit of a revelation this week.  There's a reason that from now until December is a lot of peoples' favorite time of year.  Because their family is sneaking around the house and popping out like dorks? No, just mine?  Its because there are some big holidays and holidays bring family together.  We carved pumpkins with my entire extended family on Monday like we do every single year, and I relished every moment there.  I got to ask all my little cousins what they're being for halloween, dare my sisters to eat some pumpkin guts, and yes, more scaring was involved.  Pretty from now until January 1st, my family has a tradition to do nearly every week.  And I can't wait.

So What:

We're taught through the gospel that it is only through our family that we can get a sense of what heaven is really like.  I think that recognized even more during this holiday time of year.  What I don't understand is why its harder to get that same feeling throughout the rest of the year.  I honestly think that it could be because we have less reasons to gather ourselves and we have less traditions to uphold than during the months of October, November December.  But if everyone is happier during this time, more service is performed, and more love felt, then we should be doing this year round

Now What:

I'm going to try to have traditions and family times planned for all of the other times of the year.  Because I want to have this sense of liveliness with me at all times.  And because who wouldn't want to feel heaven year round? Even if I have to listen to a little bit of christmas music in April to remind me.

Home, Home on the Ranch

So my I've been blessed with some very prosperous ancestors that have left a place for my family to gather.  We call it the Thorley Ranch and its located down in Cedar City.  I've recently had the opportunity to go down there and remind myself of what it looks like in the fall.  Here are some of the pictures that I took:

What:

One of the reasons I love this place is that I've been coming here literally since I was an infant.  Everything about this place reminds me of family and adventure and especially childhood.  Going up there this time was the first time in years that I had been up there with family friends, who we used to take all the time when I was a kid.  It was such an interesting experience to be there with all of my other "childhood moms" and to talk to all of my friends parents about how I'm becoming an adult.  I had the revelation of there that we may make friends throughout all of our lives, but some of the best friends that you'll ever make might be your friends mom or dad

So What:

As I'm going through these adult experiences, I find myself talking a lot to my friend's moms to see how my friends are doing.  But they are always seeing how I am doing and giving me life advice.  I almost value see my old friend's moms more than I do my friends because they basically raised me and it feels like I'm a kid again.  They also are great for helping me know what I should do in my life or looking out for me or helping me make other connections.  

No What:  

I guess I never realized how full circle these friendships would come.  I guess I though I had outgrown my childhood friends and moved on but the farther I get  in life the more I realize that these are the people that are going to stay with me and always be my guardian angels in my life.  Family friends can become actual family in a sense and I'm really grateful I have them in my life.  

I wore a bra and brushed my teeth before schlepping it up that hill. Two Fat Drops of Awesome!

What:

I think I'm always posting about stress, or getting my feet under me, or some topic related to those ideas.  I've recognized a pattern that seems to have formed in my mind of always keeping track of the things that I'm struggling with or fail at rather than paying attention to the things I've done well.  I've slightly depressed all week because the only thing I can think about is the recent mistakes I've made or the lack of effort in some areas of my life.  I think this is partially part of my personality and maybe a little bit the outside pressures of a culture that makes me feel like I need to be doing more and better things with my life.  My dad is always joking with me because every time I call him, its usually some business item or very impersonal phone call.  and at the end he says"Brooke, are you stressing out? or are you having fun with life?!" Most of the time I can't say yes with the latter question.

So What:

This is an awful way of thinking! and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who does it.  Besides the spiritual level that Heavenly Father does not wanting his children to think of themselves like this, its just downright depressing.  Its hard to hang out with people that think like that.  Because often if they're insecure about themselves then some of that frustration gets take out on the people around them.  Also people that think like this have a harder time getting things done and lower their expectations for themselves.  This sickness of thought needs to end

Now What:

I learned in a Relief Society Lesson one day about this mommy blogger who had posted something along these same lines.  We read this post together and that day it actually stuck with me.  I think she puts it very simply and humorously while still getting the point across.  Here is the blog post:

http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/

I highly recommend that everyone read this post,  but the gist of it is that its hard for us to recognize the good things we do because they're usually small little things.  But if we learn how to count the "drops of awesome" that we do every day, we wouldn't even think about the bad things.  At that would likely empower us to do even more good things.  Its really a matter of retraining our thought process and we could do some amazing things.

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone

What:

Do you ever have the days that are just booked so full you can't even keep you focus on anything for more that 10 minutes?  Well I had one of those this past week.  After waking up at 4:00 AM to go take picture up Big Cottonwood Canyon in SLC, I was hurrying to come back for a class.  Then I was rushing to work to try and finish a project and get some homework done. Then I had an appointment back up in SLC so I jump in my car and I'm cruising up there and ........  I run out of gas.  Humbly I got to sit in my car for the next 30 minutes while my dad came to give me some gas.  I ended up just going home and fixing a short dinner and getting in bed much earlier than I normally do because I was done with that day.

I had really overbooked myself that day.

So What:

I tend to run into this issue a lot, not running out of gas, but literally being busy out of my mind.  I wouldn't say I have a hard time saying no but if anyone invites me to things, or asks a favor of me I pretty much always say yes.  This turns into a lot of crazy days like that one.  And not only that but things start to slip my mind, and then it spirals even more out of control.  And even with me trying to plan ahead I come to find that I have every single weekend booked out until for 6 weeks.  Even with a lot of forethought and planning, its going to be busy.  And I'm pretty sure heavenly father didn't intend on us to live our lives like that.

I've been reflecting on a talk lately that was given in General Conference by President Uchtdorf called  "Of Things That Matter Most".  He gives the example that student pilots often think that increasing speed is the best way to get through turbulence, when in reality its often decreasing speed to the right amount that will make the ride the smoothest.  The same is with life, that its easy to make yourself busy and have full days and think you're being productive.  But really we need to slow down and focus on the things that matter most, and then we will have a smooth ride.


Now What:

If having my dad come fill up my car on the freeway wasn't humbling enough, this talk sure was.  I guess I need to figure out how to slow my speed down.  Probably schedule some relaxing time so I can keep my head on straight.  And more importantly, get rid of the excess things in my life and start focusing on those things that really matter most.


Here is the link to the talk for anyone interested in reading it:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng